Interviewing prospective nannies is one of the best parts of this job. Three of us sit  with each candidate. We’re friendly and make the effort to put everyone at ease. We are trying to get additional insight into each person beyond what they put on their applications or have said on the phone. We’re chatty and open. By the time they get to the office, we’re feeling good about them. Then they say something that makes us cringe. Recent college grads with little interviewing experience are  more prone to blurt out some pretty silly answers to our questions. Here are some recent exchanges:

Why did you come to DC? For the night life.

What the worst thing anyone would say about you? I do have a temper, but kids don’t  really piss me off.

Do you drive? Well, I do but apparently I need a license. I’ve been driving with a learner’s permit.

What are your future goals? Well… Certainly not to be a nanny.

These interviews  we conduct are the reason people pay us. We tend to ferret out information that determines whether someone is worth the time to interview.  Everyone we know is busy or has things they want to be doing.  Who wants to waste a perfectly good Saturday or Sunday afternoon with  a non- viable hire. While goofy or inane responses may not eliminate  a candidate from getting a job, we have a much better sense of who the “keepers” are. Those are the nannies who get  to go on to the next level.

I was going to talk about car insurance and nannies but-yawn-decided I had to get this topic off my chest instead.

I joke with my athletic children – who wrestled and played lacrosse in college-that discount shopping is my sport. I am really pretty good at it. Put me near an outlet center and I am high on life. I will find at least one great thing to buy. I am also known to frequent the pricier places when an important occasion calls for it. For the black tie wedding I just went to–I helped Saks Fifth Avenue stay out of Chapter 11. I hated plunking down the money but I knew would be pictures and I wanted to look as good as I could. So what does this have to do with nannies/childcare?

Here’s the deal. When it doesn’t really matter, I understand going for the cheaper option. Here’s what I don’t get. Why would parents go to Craig’s List or any similar on-line outlet to find a nanny to take care of their newborn or small non-verbal children? I just don’t get it. This nanny is the most important person a parent is going to hire.The stakes don’t get higher. So why go discount shopping for the person who is going to have the most profound influence on your child or children? Finding a good caregiver when you are a new parent is daunting. You really don’t know what you don’t know. And despite all those published lists, there are no magic questions to ask. It is a bit of a minefield out there.

I have listened to some pretty bad stories in the last weeks about sub par childcare found mostly on-line from people who admitted that they could have afforded to use a reputable service. Why would you keep a caregiver who overtly favored one of your baby twins over the other? This particular nanny took 27 photos of one child and 3 of the other. That was just one in a string of examples of her favoritism. Or how about the nanny who took the children to her SECOND job for a year without their parents ever knowing. Then there was the nanny who smacked her three year old charge. It was only because the older sibling told that the parents found out. And I will never forget the woman who hired a nanny to take care of her five children and found out later that year that she was a he! I think we would have ferreted out that info sooner.

So my advice here is when you have a really important occasion–like finding a great nanny for your child– and you have the wherewithal to pay a good agency–don’t cheap out. Pay the professionals to do your screening and hire the best person you can find.

My friend Pat Cascio who owns Morningside Nannies in Houston has been my “go to” person whenever I need to talk out a nanny related issue. She’s so smart– and often extremely funny.  Last week she asked me a question that had never come up in my 25 years in business. That’s why I love this job.  It’s never boring!

“My sister has a nanny who drives the baby using her own personal vehicle. I was wondering if the nanny became ill or got hurt in an accident and was unable to communicate, how would the emergency personnel know that Ben (my sister’s baby) was not the nanny’s child? Should my sister have the baby wear an identification bracelet? What do you suggest to your families regarding this matter?”

Great question and one we will now be advising both nannies and clients on. All the nanny pros that Pat surveyed on this issue were spot on. They had great suggestions and were totally informed on how to handle a possible emergency as described in the question. Pat and I, the agency owners with 7 kids between us–well, we were scratching our heads!

Pat has graciously allowed me to share her findings. So read on.

• Child’s Car Seat: Attach a label, luggage tag or index card in a place where a passerby isn’t able to read the information but EMTs will find with ease. The information should include child’s name , allergies and other medical information, child’s photo, parent’s name and contact information, instructions where to find insurance card and authorization to treat form. The tag or card should be in a place where the child can’t reach it.

• Multiples: When there is more than one child, they may not always be sitting in the same car seats, so the information on all the children should be available on each seat.

• Glove Compartment: Keep copies of the authorization to treat form, vehicle insurance card, nanny and child’s health insurance card, nanny’s and children’s medical information including known allergies.

• Diaper Bag: Same as written above and can be kept in a Ziploc or waterproof baggy.

• Cellphone: ICE information (IN Case of Emergency) should include parent’s emergency contact numbers.

Hope no one ever needs to use this info–but better to be prepared for the “what if” scenario.

If you are planning on taking your nanny on vacation with you, I’d like to share some tips and experiences with you. The whole idea of the family vacation is to have a great, stress-free time. To that end, make sure you talk about how you envision the holiday BEFORE you leave.
First, make sure your nanny understands that this is YOUR vacation, not hers. She is working– just in another venue. But, you need to adhere to some kind of schedule so she is not working 24/7. Seems obvious, but few people really think about a vacation schedule before they leave. If you want to go out to dinner every night and the nanny is used to getting off at dinner time at home, you could be in for a rocky time. The important message here is to manage expectations. If your nanny knows what you are planning to do, she won’t feel blindsided.
Think about the best way to carve some time out for her to have off. Sunday morning, she may want to go to church and just walk around without her charges. This may be an easy time for you to manage without her. Give her a dinner or lunch out on the town or maybe a gift of a spa treatment. Tokens of appreciation for extra hours worked make for a much happier nanny. But, if she is going to work considerably more hours than her normal schedule, discuss extra pay before you leave. We have gotten numerous calls of nannies thinking they were going to be paid for extra hours and employers who felt that they didn’t need to compensate. Mostly because they felt that being at a beautiful vacation spot more than made up for the extra hours. Most nannies don’t feel that way. If you discuss this up front, you won’t have a disgruntled caregiver on the way home! By the way, sharing a room–— with children on vacation no matter how lovely the hotel or house and how darling the children is never fun for the nanny. Essentially, she has no time to herself.
Also, if you hiring someone new, whisking them off to even the best place on earth can lead to trouble. The nanny doesn’t know you and your family and she doesn’t have any support system where you are. While it would seem like a great chance to get to know each other, the intensity of the time together could backfire. Over the years, we have gotten calls from nannies completely distraught in some of the best vacations spots I know. They were homesick and sometimes overwhelmed with all that instant togetherness. If you are going to be away 2-4 weeks, it might be better to start the nanny when you get home or have her join you the last week of your vacation.
There is no reason not to have a great time on vacation with your family and your nanny. Just remember to do some advance planning.
1. Discuss duties and a tentative schedule before you leave
2. Discuss time off
3. Discus pay –are you planning to pay extra for extra hours. How much?
4. Discuss accommodations especially if you are expecting her to bunk with your children
Have a great time!