We make nanny/family matches every day, so we have a good idea of how to make sure you start your relationship on the right foot.

One faux pas we often see from nannies is comparisons to their previous families.

Bringing up your ex and comparing the good old days to the present is never a wise idea in romance. No one likes the comparison to an old flame. It’s true in dating and true in the nanny world. No mother wants to constantly hear about how wonderful the nanny’s last charges were–especially a new mom. She wants her nanny to be besotted with HER baby or her children if she’s not a new mom.

We love when nannies bond with their work families and love the children like their own. Here’s what’s not so great. When the job ends and they go on to a new position and can’t stop talking about their previous boss and their children. Talk about killing the mood. I know the nanny has no desire to upset her new employer. She probably has no idea how her reminiscing about the good old days in her previous job is upsetting her new employer. Here’s what her new boss is thinking: “I will never live up to…” “I can never do…” “How will we ever be as good as that family?” Comparisons are tough, especially with new relationships.

In the office, we are the repository for two viewpoints: one belonging to the nanny and the other to the family. This particular subject keeps coming back to us. Think about dating. Bad plan to keep referring to and reminiscing about Mike when your new beau is John.

Nannies: Try and withhold the comparisons while you are making an effort to build trust with this new family. Make your new boss feel confident in this HUGE decision she just made! You two are a team, so make her feel that way!

Parents: Have a chat with your nanny to let know that while you cannot be her previous family, you hope your family will also be able to build a new and lasting relationship with her. And then to quote Elsa: “Let it go… let it go…”